"it" just moved
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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