Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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