Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
