you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
