This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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