East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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