Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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