Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize