we have officially lost it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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