I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
