and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize