Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I didn't notice because vodka
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
