I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
