hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
