I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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