Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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