im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
