I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im holly from the hills drunk
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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