Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
