it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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