You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
