There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
