That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
