question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
