Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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