Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
