Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize