Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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