I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
