You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
