It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
