i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
