awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
