Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have fence marks all over my body
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
