Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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