where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
