my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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