You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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