chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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