Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
