Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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