I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Please, let me fuck your mom
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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