Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you win again, gameday.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
