I wish I only lived at night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
