im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
