theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize