Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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