Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
