May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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