only if we run a train.
done.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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