Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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