remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Someone shattered a urinal.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
