no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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