Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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