i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
