He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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