Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize