I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Bring me that man meat
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
