first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you win again, gameday.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
