He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
