Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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