My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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