Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
