I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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