Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
