great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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