; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize