she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
